Bed Bugs - Not Just A "Good Night" Phrase

I feel compelled to write about an incident that occurred last week during training for my new job.  I would normally have just shrugged it off as a unlucky happening, but this particular "happening" has persisted for 6 days now in the form of what looks like a condensed small pox epidemic, and feels like a thousand tiny little ants pinching me up and down my body.

I was staying at the American Inn of Bethesda during training.  It stood unimposingly next to a gigantic Double Tree on the main drag in Bethesda, Maryland.  Though unimpressive from the outside, the rooms were cozy enough, and I found the beds to be quite comfortable.

The first nite was a breeze.  I went out for some Indian food, then hung out at the hotel, did some picture editing, and thanks to the Indian food I had just eaten, tested out the strength of the bathroom facilities.  (I'd say strong to quite strong)

The next evening, after getting some Asian food with my fellow trainee, Jamie, I returned to the hotel to blog about my encounter with Jenny & Tyler.  (see previous post)  As I was writing and going thru pictures, I began to feel like I was getting bitten by some aggressive mosquitoes.  I felt a little pinch, slapped the spot, and looked around to find evidence of mosquitoes, but to my surprise, I found none.

Mosquitoes are pretty easy to spot in contained rooms where almost everything is white.  Not only are they easy to see, but if for some reason you can't see them, you will most definitely hear them as they come unfailingly close to whine in your ears as if their main objective is to suck blood out fro your very ear drum.

I experienced neither sight nor sound of mosquitoes, and so decided to call it a nite and go to bed.

The next morning I woke up and felt as if my skin was on fire.  I looked down to find dense constellations of red marks all over my chest, stomach, arms and legs.  I looked like a 4 year old with chicken pox, or what may better be described as a human dartboard, speckled with pimplish looking itchy-as-eff pock marks every where.

I couldn't believe the destruction that had taken place on my body the nite before.  And I couldn't believe how much I wanted to tear off my skin.  The only thing I could think it would be, thanks to a conversation I recalled having with my pops, is bed bugs.  I consulted a few online resources, and found that my symptoms were in fact synonymous with those of the creatures of nite time well wishing.

A small sampling of the aftermath

Now, I spent a year and a half in South Africa.  The majority of that time was spent sleeping in sub-par housing that was essentially open and available to all of nature's elements, be it weather or wildlife.  The worst experiences with regards to sleep in South Africa involved soul-sucking agile mosquitoes (problem was mostly solved when I bought  an oscillating fan) and a near miss with a scorpion hanging out by my tired head.  Neither of these incidents was a burden to me like my current condition.

I also just spent a week in Guadalajara.  I was in a hotel where you couldn't drink the tap water, and if you tried to adjust the water temperature while showering, you'd get shocked thru your fingers and hands.  I had no problems with any insects there.

It just seems bass ackwards that after spending so much time in other countries with lesser amenities I would get mauled like this in a decent hotel in Bethesda, MD.

One of my favourite parts was bringing my attention to the manager at the hotel.  I called ahead to let the hotel know I would need to switch rooms.  When I showed up later in the day, the manager was apologizing to me about what happened, and we proceeded to have the following conversation:

Manager (with his eyes lowered and darting back and forth): "You know, we're really sorry about what happened... we moved all your stuff out of your old room and into a different one down the hall... But y'know, we combed the room and didn't find any evidence of bed bugs... we found a small spider and killed it, so that may have been what happened."

Me (lifting my shirt to show him the terror unleashed):  "Sir, this was not caused by a small spider."

Like constellations in the nite sky...

Manager (eyes still darting from floor to floor): "Yea, y'know, we're real sorry about that, but like I said, we couldn't find any evidence of what it was... I mean, it may have been ants too."

...

......

At this point, I wanted to let loose a bit and yell "HOW ARE ANTS ANY BETTER THAN BEDBUGS???"

But I didn't.  I laughed out loud at his ridiculous statement, shrugged, and just asked him to make sure all my stuff was out of the old room and into the new one.

People make funny rationalizations when they're in a corner.  Maybe it wasn't ants... maybe it was beetles!  Pick any member of the arthropod family!

I showed all my friends my bites that week, because despite my miserable itchiness, I still find the irony of the situation hilarious.  No one else in the hotel was attacked.  It was just me.  And not even on the first nite!  Just the second!

I hope these things will go away soon.  Last nite I seem to have gotten carried away in my sleep and opened a few up with my tireless scratching.  I've been covering them with cortizone cream, and am going to start taking some oral benadryl.  If any one has any other remedies in mind, please do inform me.

Until next time, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite.

Seriously...

-JoeySee